This post is a continuation in my series of posts on Blogging.
If you’ve missed any, go catch up:
As was the case with the previous posts, this is in no way a comprehensive or exhaustive list but based on reader requests, I’m shareing my opinion only, of course, on these topics:
16. How to handle revealing yourself to the world when you start a blog.
This is such a big question and I think depends on many variables:
The nature or type of blog. A provide-a-new-recipe-with-each-post blogger is going to reveal less about herself than a healthy living blogger who is documenting her daily eats or her personal running goals. One type of blog is just about the recipes; the other is about much more than only recipes.
How comfortable you are sharing things about yourself on the internet. I share the same things in person and with people I know as I do on the internet with people I don’t. In person, I share more. Some people, however, are shy in person and share less but their blog gives them the confidence, and possibly anonymity, to share more.
Do you have children? Or a protective spouse/partner/family members? I am more protective, in general, about what I reveal about myself and my life because I have Skylar. If it was just me, I’d share more but it’s not the case and therefore I think twice about posting certain information.
Some mystery and privacy is not only okay, it’s just smart and common sense.
You don’t owe the world an explanation. You don’t have to explain why you didn’t post your breakfast eats that day, why you don’t write out the full name of your child, where you are going later that day or where you were yesterday. For his work reasons, photographs of Scott are not shown. I also don’t discuss the nitty gritty of our jobs, where we work, what we do, our travel schedules, and so forth. Keeping some element of privacy is simply common sense.
I like to think that blogs are a gift that you give yourself by having it and writing it; and they are a gift you give to your readers. By posting to your blog, updating it and sharing about your life, your days, your recipes, your feelings and thoughts, your workout plans, and anything else you post to your blog, you are already giving your readers a very large part of you, a gift of sorts.
You should never feel obligated to give more than you are comfortable with. In no way shape or form should you feel obligated to share things you don’t want to because you think you “should”. No way!
And I have learned, if you think you may not want to answer tons of questions about something or reveal something about yourself that you’re on the fence with, then don’t.
If you have some big, juicy tidbit that you want to share and you know you’ll feel great sharing it, or that it will be a relief or cathartic in some way to share it, then do so.
But if a little voice in your head is saying, caution-caution red light I’m not so sure about this, then honor that voice and sit tight on that big reveal post or those deep thoughts or that juicy info because once you hit publish, you can never take it back. You can unpublish a post, but someone out there, somewhere, read it. And it’s cached in cyber archives, forever.
Just my way of saying it’s fun to blog, it’s fun to share, some people love it and are totally comfortable with it, but every new blogger writes a post (and some veteran bloggers write them every now and then) and we come to realize that we wish we hadn’t said something or shared something or maybe shared the nitty gritty details down to the enth degree on something.
Even though I advise everyone to be careful and use common sense about what you share, I have found that over time, it has become easier to just share more on my blog. A few years ago I would have never dreamed of writing some of the things I do now, but I have built up to that level of comfort and I also find that readers do want to know the little things. They want to know where you bought your cute tshirt, they want to know where you went over the weekend, they want to see pictures of you and your family as well as your recipes, and over time, I have learned this and feel I share (safely) much more personal details than I ever planned on when I started my blog.
But there are also lots of things no one could ever expect when you start a blog (see Blogging 101, items 5 and really all posts in the series. Blogging is a learn on the job and learn as you go hobby)
17. What to do about people who find out about your blog but you didn’t necessarily want them to?
Even though it may not start out this way, blogs turn into “a family affair”.
It becomes almost impossible to keep your blog from your family, close friends, or even coworkers. Somehow, some way, people just find out about it.
Also, keeping all discussion, mentions, or stories of certain people off your blog can be challenging. It can be done, but it’s challenging and you have to be very mentally organized so you don’t accidentally post about someone who was supposed to never be discussed on your blog for whatever reason.
I also find that if a blogger never mentions her boyfriend, spouse, mother, child, friends, etc. it becomes somewhat odd. You will more than likely be talking about your family members, partner/significant other, and friends and therefore, these people likely will find out about your blog. And if you’re going to be talking about them a lot, it would be strange not to mention to them, “Hey, I have this blog and I blabber on about you a few times a week on it.”
I know some people are scared to death to have coworkers, parents, relatives, or certain friends find out about their blog and it goes back to my points above, you don’t owe anyone an explanation about anything. So, if someone does find out about your blog and you didn’t want them to, oh well. Too bad for them if they don’t like it.
Most every blogger I know puts tons of time, energy, effort and pride into her blog. If the person who found out about your blog judges you harshly or negatively because of it, that’s their issue, not yours. Easier said than done, I realize, but my advice is to keep doing your thing, keep blogging, keep posting how you want to post and just carry on, business as usual. Yes, it may be a bit awkward for you both for a bit after they find out but remember, you have hundreds and probably thousands of other readers; so move on and don’t dwell on just this one person.
I know some people change or alter their posts, their content, or how involved or “deep” they go with certain types of content or stories and their thoughts on various topics if they know a certain person or certain people are reading. That is the blogger’s judgment call and comfort level.
Again, you don’t owe anyone an explanation and I feel badly for any blogger who feels she has to really censor her posts because she feels she will be judged harshly or for whatever the reason, she can’t post freely because X person is reading. That’s a hard position and hopefully she can talk to X person or somehow the situation turns around because as bloggers, we all should be able to post the things we want to and not feel limited or censored or restricted in what we can and cannot discuss on our blog.
So there you have it.
A very wordy post.
Quite the opposite from my last post, The Taste of Adams Avenue, where I posted no less than about 40 pictures of food and fun!
I am glad you enjoyed the post and it was fun for me to hear what tasting festivals you’ve been to and also hearing about whether or not there’s ethnic diversity in the food in your area was interesting. Unfortunately, many of you said you don’t have anything like this in your area or that you’ve never been to anything like that. If you get the chance, go!
And it’s now time to go eat Magic Eight Bars since this Blogging Series magically turned into a 5 part event! <—How did that happen?
Questions:
1. As a blogger, how do you decide how much to share about yourself? Has it changed over time the longer you blog? If you’re thinking about starting a blog, how much do you think you’ll share?
2. Has anyone found out about your blog that you didn’t want to know? How did they find out, what was their reaction, and are they “okay” with it? Has their finding out about it altered the way what you post about?
3. Tell me what in the series you’ve really liked and if there are things you want addressed, you can let me know. No promises, but you can fill me in.
This is going to be the last post in the series unless I really get inspired to write more or unless I am flooded with reader questions and inquiring minds. All of which are entirely possible.
I’ve loved writing this series and please see these posts to catch up on anything you’ve missed:
I’ve been reading your blog for the past few weeks and enjoying it!
These Blogging posts are great! One of the things I struggled with when I first started my blog was the privacy issue. I have since become more open about myself on the blog but my husband is really private and has asked not be referred to by name. I am respecting that. You are right about it being odd to just never mention family and significant others. It’s a delicate line but your readers want to be able to relate.
Such a great post! It’s funny that so many people think they shouldn’t post “life stuff” on their food blog. The reason I personally read blogs is to connect with the person! Of course, I love recipes and beautiful food photography, but I also want to know about the blogger’s life too. I definitely withhold certain information from my blog: my last name, what I do for a living, etc. I work in a pretty unique career field – let’s just say there are a lot of people who DO NOT like me! I hope none of my clients ever find my blog, but if they do, c’est la vie. That’s the risk I take for putting it all out there on the internet.
Thank you so much for all of this info! I just started my blog last week & one thing I keep thinking about is people I know, mainly co-workers, discovering it. After reading this post though, it is really making me think… so what? If they have a problem, it’s their problem, not mine! Thank you! :)
When I first started my blog, I was a bit shyer about it, and didn’t want people to know. I have gotten over that and now all my friends/family/coworkers know.
when i started blogging, i only talked about what i cooked, but i found that kinda boring. so now i share more about my kids, husband, and our activities. i’m still trying to find that balance. i don’t want to share too much for privacy reasons, or share too little and risk boring my readers (and myself.) so i am taking all your great advice to heart as i refine my own ideas of what i want to write about.
I have started to think about starting an actual blog, and these posts have really been helpful! I hadn’t even really given much thought about how much to share, but for safety reasons I really agree with what you do!
i am still working out what my content will primarily be about….and when i mean primarily, just a continuing focus, although not necessarily needs to be touched on everyday….i have been following many, many blogs and i can see what i am attracted to and what does not work for me as a reader….however, what attracts me as a reader might not attract someone else….so it’s very interesting for me…
most importantly, i need to finalize which platform i will use : ) content is easy for me…
so thanks for yet another installment of your wise blog tips!
Great advice! As a new blogger I haven’t truly encountered any of these issues yet, but in the coming weeks I surely will. This one’s getting bookmarked with all the others in the series! And I do love reading about your life and family, and the fun things you do!
Thank you so much for your honesty and all the information. I just started a blog in April, and I’m going totally from scratch. I found your blog last week and I can’t stop reading it. California is so beautiful and I love all the pictures. I’ve been writing about food and yoga, but without a lot of personal details. I guess I’m still nervous that people will judge. I’m applying for teaching jobs, and I don’t want anything to be used against me. I have to laugh at the above comments, because I don’t think my friends and family read my blog either. It’s been fun “meeting” like minded people through the blogging community. Finally someone else that’s obsessed with farmers’ markets and smoothies as much as me!
Great topic. I admit, I started my blog more as a way to show pics of my girl to my family, but it’s morphed into MUCH more than that, and now I’m kind of regretting how I started it because I’d like it to be more, although not so much wanting my family to constantly be reading it. (Strange, how you don’t care if a stranger knows some of your personal thoughts, and you don’t want your family knowing!!)
#16 is SO TRUE. I’ve struggled with what to share because I feel like I need to give my readers an explanation for things, when that really isn’t the case at all. My life is private, and while I’m open about some things, I like to keep other things to myself. And that’s how it SHOULD BE. No one’s life should be a completely open book on the internet, because there’s a need for privacy in order to maintain a sense of self and respect the people in your life.
A lot of people have found out about my blog that I never expected to. But now, I’m okay with that! I realized that if people don’t like my blog, they probably won’t like me, either. And that’s fine- no one is liked by everyone, and I honestly don’t care anymore if people think my blog is weird. It makes me happy, and that’s all that matters!
Awesome post! When I first started blogging I thought I wouldn’t feel comfortable putting my picture on there or revealing too much….my how that changed! I think after a while I realized I was being needlessly protective. I don’t really talk too much about my private life on my blog, other than my thoughts on food and the fun stuff going on in my life. Even though I’m human and like blogs where people will reveal everything about themselves and their life, I just don’t feel comfortable doing that myself. I try to keep things light and breezy.
As for keeping it from my family? HA. They all know it exists and could not care less. I would have to beg them or bribe them to look at it. They probably don’t even know the web address….sigh…
my family probably doesnt know my URL either :(
This post rings very true with me right now. I have become more and more comfortable with sharing more personal information than I initially thought I would have. I’ve realized that it was important for me to try and create a place of support and comfort where people who are going through similar things that I am going through (PCOS, recovering ED, abuse) can converge in a safe place. Hopefully, I can continue to do that + include some food porn and some laughs along the way.
Also, I’ve recently (as Eden called it the other day) “come out” to two of my friends about my blog. It’s kind of weird telling them, but it was kind of necessary given certain circumstances. I haven’t told them the name though so they still can’t find it.. hehe… I think this is another thing I’ll have to become more “comfortable” with over time.
PCOS, recovering ED, abuse = we need to have coffee!!!
Lol; name the time & day! I leave for Greece on July 18th so maybe at some point before then? If not, I’m back Aug.1 so anytime after! Although I can only imagine how hard it is to pry yourself away from that cute, blonde, mini-Averie! :-)
“You don’t have to explain why you didn’t post your breakfast eats that day, why you don’t write out the full name of your child, where you are going later that day or where you were yesterday.” – So true!
Great post with lots of wonderful information, thanks!
1. Based on how I think it will help the topic I writing about and how it relates to me and life in general.
2. Sure, my inlaws and by my hubby. I wasn’t really hiding it from them, but I did occasionally mention them as a huge health influence.
3. Info you’ve provided about content selection, topics covered and personal info. Oh, and scoring swag. :-)
I love this post! Your so right about finding the right amount to share. Thanks for the great tips!
Just wondering, have you done a post with photography tips? Maybe you have and I just missed it or forget. If not, that is something I’d love to see in the future.
go to my photography tab
https://www.loveveggiesandyoga.com/photography
and read the posts under books and under workshops/events
and stay tuned in about 2 days i have a big post coming out on the matter, too